I generally avoid lotteries, but I will make an exception this time. | June 9-15, 2021
The dumbest news this week was the news of the US Secret Service report regarding the sighting of UFOs by Navy pilots. It seems that this revelation has been in the media for years. We now finally know what the Defense Department knows about UFOs.
They do not know anything. They could be alien spaceships. They may not be alien spaceships. How exciting is that? Did anyone have any money riding on how they would tackle this issue?
Speaking of gambling, I try not to. I don’t play card games for money. I don’t roll dice. I don’t even want to set foot in a casino. I will not play slot machines. I avoid bingo. I won’t even play marbles for memories even though it is a skill game as i have no marbles skill and winning would be a dice game in my case.
I never play lotteries. I won’t pay a dollar for a chance to win five or a million. My feeling is this: I can make a dollar right now by not buying the ticket. My lifetime earnings, at a dollar a week from adulthood, have so far been around $ 2,500.
When people find out that I am a mathematician, they often ask me to explain a system to them for winning a casino game. I tell them to go to a racetrack and put money on the horse that seems to win the race. Then I laugh hysterically.
My general rule in the game is best illustrated by my bet in 2016 that Trump would win the election that year. I announced that I would bet that and was told ‘no he won’t’, and asked what is this worth to you? And the guy said, “I’m going to buy you dinner at your favorite restaurant,” and I said, you’re playing. At no time did I promise to do anything for him if I lost. This is the kind of betting that I like. Your $ 20 to my zero dollars.
I think I already mentioned here that I still owe a guy named Norman $ 20 because I bet Hubert Humphrey would beat Nixon in 1968. Norman hasn’t tried to collect so far, and there’s a good chance that he forgot everything. .
But I learned my lesson. I never risk my own money in a bet. Either I get into the action for free, or I stay completely outside.
I agree to participate in the Washington State Coronavirus Lottery. I could make a million dollars in July just for having already been vaccinated. And I didn’t even pay for the vaccination. I could leave this apartment. Maybe in a condo. Courting.
Or, as early as this week, I could earn a quarter of a million dollars.
Or, I could possibly score airline tickets, sports tickets or an Xbox or other similar device. Various things that I would probably end up selling.
The only reservation I have on the whole is knowing that I was entered in this lottery on the basis of the state’s access to my vaccination record. It turns out they know my entire vaccination record, not just the coronavirus vaccination record. What other lotteries might they want to start? Would they give out prizes to everyone who had a broken arm? Colonoscopy? A mammogram? A prescription for Viagra? A colorectal exam finished?
In other free news, Anheuser-Busch promised that if 70% of Americans are vaccinated against COVID-19 by July 4, all of us, 21 or older, will get a free beer. I don’t know if I will choose the brand. I want a Stella Artois. Please, no Bud Light.
I wonder how many anti-vaccines will give for a beer? Are they really waiting for a cold brew?
In order to collect your prize beer, you’ll need to send the company a selfie wherever you like to drink beer – maybe in a bar or at home. Presumably they would prefer it to be a legal place, although I would be tempted to send them a picture of me drinking in Occidental Park in a brown paper bag. They will send five dollars for beer on a debit card.
Other companies that offer prizes if enough of us are vaccinated include Krispy Kreme, Target, Kroger, Microsoft, Doordash, and NASCAR.
Maybe Kroger will give me a pack of half a dozen rolls of Bounty Pick-A-Size Double Paper Napkins.
Dr Wes is the real change circulation specialist, but, in addition to his spreadsheet skills, he writes this weekly column on recent events that have caught his attention. Dr. Wes has contributed to the article since 1994. Curious about his process or do you have a response to one of his columns? Connect with him at [email protected]ews.org.
Read the rest of the issue from June 9 to 15, 2021.